A drop of His wisdom tainted my milieu
BismilLah Al Rahman Al Rahim,
I promised that I would write about my travel to Spain, my initial intention was to describe some of the most memorable people I have come across. Half way through, I thought it unfair to choose or pick from among all of these wonderful people. Each one of them have touched me in a different way unimaginable. Some of them reflect who I am right now, others who I was, not in a condescending way, on the contrary, it’s like reminding me of all the questions that went through my mind, these people answer them while I bothered not to. And of course, then comes, the ultimate aim, who I want to be inch’Allah: the state, the gaze, the relationship with Allah The Exalted.
Sometimes I wonder, not only the shuyukh, but some of the students have actually given up a lot of their lives for this religion. Not looking back, not regretting, not a doubt in their mind. Mash’Allah. I am constantly humbled by the mere thought of them. It makes me think of how I am with God. I am ashamed. I listen to people reciting the Quran and I feel the sweetness, the quietude that resonated between the words. The true essence of the Quran that penetrates within you.
Light shines on their faces, while they bow their heads in modesty. A constant illuminating smile from the Qari, tears in the eyes of the Shaykh, a leap of faith experienced by the Ustadh before your very eyes.
The weird thing is being there felt more real than living my regular life. It’s like I’ve awaken from a slumber, like I knew that this is what I was always looking for, I could see myself as I truly was, I could ameliorate myself from this point. Sobhanna Allah and to think people live their whole lives in that mood. No wonder the majority of the students wants to go back.
My intention inch’Allah taala is to pass on as best as I can what we were taught at the Spanish retreat. The notes taken will not pass on the amazingness of the place or the excellence of the Shuyukh. Unfortunately, my words are still not good enough to reach that stage (no it is not low self esteem, it is honesty with one’s self)
The title “A drop of His wisdom has tainted my milieu” is an amalgam of two sentences I heard from two different students. “A drop of her wisdom” was used to described Maya Angelou, and “tainted milieu” during Fiqh class. Another way to say that Allah is sending signs everywhere and anytime, all you have to do is look and listen. Contemplate. Reflect.
As would the scholars say at the end of each class: wal hamdouliLlah Rab al ‘alamin (All praise to Allah, God of all the worlds)